7 MAY

Today..7 may..everything happen..almost 8 years ago..this date the date my late older brother en.Sharul Arman bin Arith birthday..n the day he had engagement with his wife.. In the same day is the day my late father passed away and leave their lovely wife and children for the whole life..ayah say good bye around 5pm after my abg man's engagement already finished..n my ayah leave us after he was face with my abg man..all my aunty cuzzie didn't allowed me to watch my ayah bcoz they know..I'm the only daughter who are lately really close with my ayah..I'm just 13 years old..so I just a lil gal that don't know what was happened..?i just heard that..ayah dah tak Ada..that around peeps said to me..so I just..owh ok..no tears but I gave smile..n they want me to back home first b4 they sent jenazah..thn I'm follow my cuzzie.n thn when I'm home I just went to my parents room n I sleep..I just felt that..nothing happened..after I heard noisy at the outside I went to hall n I saw a body with around him peeps recite a Yassin..so I'm asked to my abg man..knp ni?siape tu? Thn abg man hugs me n said..ayah dah tak ada..so I'm just silence n I sit at the kitchen..I borak2 with org2 dapur..they just like shocked wit my action..so after the day..hari pengebumian..I follow..my abg man asked me to follow him..so I'm just follow..at the grave's land..I saw the peeps busy with their duty..semua lahh..n the times they hold my father to bring him into the grave..Yess that times my tears burst out..but I don't have a voice just tears..and in that time I thinking that..ok after this ayah dah tak ada..just me abg2 n mak..boy my younger brother who I never see he cried..can't stop the tears.he the only one from others the most ayah sayang..sgt..really close frm kids until now..everything he wish to get.he will get with ayah..n after that we all live with our lovely mum..pn Salmah bachik..addition..in that day are the mothers day..my mum lost her lovely husband on her happiness to have 1st in law..n the day all the children celebrate their mum..so far alhamdulillah we never lack of everything..from top to toe..we complete with mum...everything we wishes.she will try hardest to get it..n never say that..sory mak penat..never..when anak2 blik..she will cook..even she just come back from work..I respect her as my role model..I wishes I can afford to be her's mirror..n today..7 may 2012.. The first year I celebrate my late abg man's bufday without him..as always only he his my friends..pot pet everything..now a day..he not wit me..but I wishes ayah n abg man look us from a far.. May god blessed you..!im just imperfect daughter want to say that I lost all of you from bottom of my heart.. I SMILE but peeps didn't know how much it hurt when you are not beside..!

Yang lepas sudah!

PERGILAH SAYANG...PERGILAH RINDU...

SALAM...
kamoo..
setiap detik..setiap saat dan setiap kelipan mata aku..tidak pernah untuk seketika... aku lalai mengabdikan diri...menanti kamoo hadir dalam hidup aku..biarpun hanya untuk seketika cuma...
Jika dipanjangkan usia...untuk perjalanan hidup kita di bumi Tuhan yang Maha 
Pencipta ini...ianya masih jauh..tersangat jauh melangit...
Aku bangga ada kamoo..kamoo berdiri sendiri meratah kehidupan di bumi Tuhan...kamoo sentiasa menyakinkan langkah..menyorak kehidupan peribadi kamoo..kamoo memilih hidup kamoo..satu dalam sejuta..dia pilihan kamoo..hanya dia mampu buat kamootersenyum bahagia...itu sudah cukup buat aku menyimpul kebahagiaan...
Diriku...biar dilihat teman...aku tidak pernah memperdulikan kamoo..biar juga dilihat orang..kamoo bukan orang penting dalam hidup aku..biarlah mereka..yang ternyata...hanya aku yang punya cinta sendiri ini mampu menyelam untuk merungkai yang tersirat..aku mempersetankan pandangan mereka...kerana cinta aku nanya untuk kamoo selamanya...sampai bila-bila pun..aku bersumpah tidak akan pernah berubah...
Aku mengaku....kamoo bukan cinta pertama aku..tetapi aku berjanji..kamoo cinta terakhir aku..
Tersangat jauh...tidak terkejar..aku berlari mengelamun bermimpikan kamoo untuk bersama impian aku..tetapi untuk zahirnya saja...sudah mampu untuk aku mengerti..kamoo bukan milik aku..kerana kamoo milik seseorang...seseorang yang sangat tinggi nilainya untuk kamoo..seseorang yang sangat sempurna sifatnya untuk bahagia bersama kamo..sempurnyanya dia untuk menjadi pelengkap dalam hidup kamoo..
Jauh bezanya aku dan dia bagai bumi mahu mencecah langit..
Untuk kamoo yang terakhirr..pergilah sayang...pergilah rindu..aku hanya mampu titipkan doa kebahagiaan untuk kamoo di dunia dan akhirat..kamoo sentiasa dihati aku...
WASALAM..

hey meet again..but this time im in final exam..guess what..yeahh true in final..but now 4.24 a.m im in mcdonald..overnight..yeahh spend time with this gals..adha..azie n miera..we just celebrate azie n apple advanced bufday..hahaha..we rocking tht YONG TAU FU RESTAURANT..thnxs to the crew..struggles to clean up our area..it just a small party but it fun..im not in really well condition..flu sore throat n mybe coming wit fever..hahaha..now felt sleepy but mcdonald doesn't have bed..towel n so on.. ;).. i think they should have it..bcoz almost here is student..so they cn sleep here n thn wake up then shot to school..in same time they can sleep wit doublecheese burger..maybe..!!hahaha..

actually..!im really stress wit my paper..i cant do..yeahh..im stayed up everynite to study..but i still cant do..1st question my lecturer when im come their room..tht.."hawa..u bole buat"?what do u feel..im feel horrible n worst when im said.."im sorry sir..i cant"n the worst thing if i need to say that to my mum..everyday im thinking about her feeling..when im said sorry mum i cant..what she feel...firstly..of coz she feel really2 said..the daughter that she expect the most can be the best just..nothing actually..im just want to said..that..everything you do to me..im just only can said thank you..im just imperfect daughter..to my family..im proud that i have you..who are just great mom grown up her children without show..that you tired wht you was..n..still do for your children..i know that u hope n wishes that all of we get the best in everything we undertaking for our life..we all thanks for that..we all love u mom from bottom of our heart..!i can't promise to be a perfect..but i promise to be the best..for you mom..!for this granted opportunity..hepy advanced mother's day mak..